#i think it’s very obvious who she’s talking about but at the end of the day i’m technically speculating eye twitches

[felicity-worthington]

Why is “Doctor Odyssey” a television show that very cleverly shows the depth of the human condition?

So, I have seen some people say that Doctor Odyssey is fun (especially because of Ody3) but also just a superficial show with no plot and I have to politely disagree. I think this show is the opposite, it's just supposed to look silly and superficial at first glance, as you can see when they repeat the phrase "we constructed a paradise" in the weekly recaps.

It is supposed to look like that, it is the idea of a cruise itself, for a week you escape the real world, you enter a new constructed one, which is supposed to be paradise without problems. But here's the thing, here is why there's a doctor and two nurses on this ship: it's just an idea, it's not real.

We especially see this in the episodes "I Always Cry at Weddings" and "Quackers" and of course in the main storyline of Max, Tristan and Avery navigating their relationship and their constant struggle with what they really want in life.

Let's start with "I always cry at weddings" to deconstruct the idea of superficiality with the weekly funny themes and the show only being silly because it's quite obvious here I think. I mean, a man commits suicide in this episode because he's deeply conflicted about what he really wants out of life and how he thinks there is an incurable darkness within him. And we see him, his bride and his best man as an example of how this construction, this idea of heteronormative happiness is just that for a lot of people: just an idea that doesn't guarantee you happiness, but actually destroys lives (not everyone's, of course). And we start this episode superficially, with a couple about to get married on a cruise, the perfect wedding in perfect paradise. But as the episode progresses, we see the cracks and then it gets very real. The scenes with the groom breaking down in the infirmary, the bride talking to Avery and Max after the suicide and her mother's confession are all absolute tearjerkers in the best way. I mean, watch that scene and then tell me again that this show is just a silly Riverdale for adults:

This is actually one of my favorite scenes of the show because the delivery of the line "we need to help this boy" is just perfect, the actress did an amazing job. Also, the character herself says "she pretended her fears away", which underlines the show's idea that this is a paradise where people should just forget their worries, but actually real life catches up with you no matter where you are, you cannot hide from it.

The other example I was thinking of is the latest episode with the Quackers community, which is super silly in a lot of ways and I love that, don't get me wrong.

And then you have this older couple, the leaders (?) of this community, who seem extremely superficial and silly, I mean, going on cruises to go on a quack treasure hunt? So silly. BUT then the cracks start to show again as one of them, the husband (I don't know what his name was, so I'll just call him the husband and her the wife), shows a serious condition, the compulsive urge to swallow objects. When confronted, the wife literally denies it, unable to face the ugly truth. In her world everything is perfect, she and her husband are on a never-ending treasure hunt on paradise cruises, and when something real, something problematic threatens that, she can't accept it at first. And we see that again later in the episode when she refuses to leave the ship:

She wants to stay in paradise, in denial, on the surface. But that's not possible, you can't ignore real life:

But this is her and her husband's dream, an endless paradise in search of ducks, and it's hard to let go and take a deeper look at life and accept that floating through life is a nice idea and might work for a while, but it can't go on forever:

regarding her husbands condition:

Once again the theme of what we want (superficial) and what is really going on (what is behind the construction of paradise) is mentioned.

All of this, and all of the recurring themes I mentioned, are also at play with the three main characters and their constant struggle with what they really want out of life. In a way, their calling to help people is fulfilled by their professions, but then they keep asking themselves, "Is this enough? Is this what I really want out of life, taking one cruise after another?

The theme of constructed ideas versus what is actually going on is also seen in their throuple situation. Max and Tristan have probably always seen themselves as straight, and now they are getting a deeper look at who they are and what they really want out of life. And that is scary, and it often takes years to deconstruct habits and self-image.

But there is no unnecessary weird teenage drama in this show, it is very real. It is supposed to look superficial, you only have to look a little closer to see that it is not.

So once you deconstruct the idea that this is all superficial, you will see that yes, it is silly, so is life and we need those silly and funny moments in life and in this show, but it is also very, very deeply human in many tragic but also good ways.

[miwiromantics]

Let’s talk about this.

Why both will and el are so connected is because they both have the same storyline. They both have the same end purpose: acceptance.

!!warning: long post ahead!!

Will’s storyline: acceptance of love.

Unlike what most milevens believe, the duffers aren’t planning to end Will’s story with him accepting that he is gay because he HAS already accepted it. He accepted the fact that he was gay and in love with Mike, hence, the painting.

The painting, from the start, was a way of Will confessing his feelings (etc. you’re the heart) but it was never going to be said out loud. He had just planned to give it to Mike during the airport scene and it was supposed to be over.

But instead, he used it as a way to build up Mike’s confidence in himself and also lead up to say ‘I love you’ to El. He used El as a shadow over his own feelings to help Mike.

Will accepts that he likes men and is attracted to Mike. What he doesn’t accept is that he is going to fall in love. We see this in season 3 when he’s talking with Joyce.

This was a scene directly after a canon couple’s scene. Both Jonathan and Nancy are in fact in love with each other and when Joyce says the words ‘you won’t think it’s gross when you fall in love’ it indicates she meant when Will is in a relationship, not when Will is some one-sided love triangle.

So when Will says he isn’t going to fall in love, he is saying this because he knows he’s feelings in a relationship are not going to be reciprocated. He isn’t saying it because he hasn’t fallen in love with someone, he’s saying that it’s impossible for those feelings to be mutual.

Also to remind you, there was no need to put this scene in the first place if it was not hinting at something. It could’ve just been Jonathan and Nancy getting away and Joyce wiping lipstick off his face, indicating that she knew Nance was there anyway.

Throughout season 3, we can clearly notice that Will is struggling with something not related to the mind flayer. He’s struggling with his childhood, his friends and change. And the most important change is his feelings towards a certain friend.

Because of these feelings we get the rain scene. This was Will struggling to accept that he was different (gay) and in love with Mike. This was season 3’s struggle. But in season 4, through the painting, we see it’s been resolved.

He has accepted this but knows he isn’t going to be in love. He knows he’s feelings aren’t going to be reciprocated. So he does the next best thing other than confessing, and help mileven build up their already broken relationship.

Even more so, the scene with Jonathan and Will in the pizza place was acceptance enough for Will to come out. Both Will and Jonathan knew what they were talking about, the subtexts were very obvious. This was the acceptance of Will being gay and in love with Mike.

Now anybody with a right mind would see that this is clearly building up to something more important. A gay boy who thinks he’s feelings are not going to be accepted using he’s only way of confessing as a tool for a problematic ‘straight’ couple.

We must give the duffers credit as we know they aren’t just going to ignore Will’s feelings next season or slap him with some background character as a way of resolving this. There has to be more.

El's storyline: acceptance of independence.

Throughout her whole life, El has always been told what to do. Whether it has been for positive or negative means, she's never made a decision in her entire life leading up to season 2.

Let's be clear that before this girl knew the word 'friend', 'family' and 'love' meant, she had already gotten into a relationship. That before she ever knew what she liked and disliked, she was already in a relationship with the supposed boy of her dreams.

Anyways, independence is something so rooted in El’s storyline. It’s something repeated throughout the seasons. We see it in season 2 when she goes out on her own to find her mother and sister. It is important to note that Mike was not a part of this journey. Mike was not the sole focus or someone El thought she needed at that time.

Even in season 3, we are given the fact that El has never made a decision for herself. The strongest decision we ever see that season was her breaking up with Mike and even that has been disregarded by milevens, saying that Max influenced her or that she ‘didn’t know what she was doing’ or that ‘she’s just a teenager’.

Let’s be clear that anybody in a relationship is given the option to break up and leave the relationship if they want to. Max did not ‘influence’ her, she merely gave her the option. The option that is rightfully hers. By saying that it wasn’t really her decision or that she didn’t know what she was thinking, it’s like saying she doesn’t have an option.

She has the right to leave a relationship if she wants to.

The words ‘not hopper, not mike, you’ is so important to a character like El. A character that has been locked up and dependent throughout her life, finally given a choice to decide for herself is powerful.

Season 3 is important in El’s arc to independence because unlike what Milevens say, she doesn’t require Mike to be there for her to feel complete. The reason that El went to find Mike in season 2 was because they need each other is debunked in season 3. It shows that even when Mike is within her reach, she doesn’t go find him.

Now in season 4, we see a very big shift in her attitude from the previous seasons. She’s pretending to have a normal life when she clearly isn’t. She’s lying and hiding behind a fake persona to make her seem happy. She is still grieving from hopper while trying to put everything behind her and live a ‘normal’ life.

She, like many milevens, is building a reality where her and Mike are the supposed perfect couple. A reality where they are truly in love. She lies to Mike and herself throughout the rink-o-mania scene. And this all unfortunately breaks when Angela (that bitch) comes into the picture.

She throws El’s persona into the fire and absolutely humiliates her in front of the one person she didn’t want to be humiliated in front of. And this is where we see their relationship break (even more).

We see the first crack when El says that Mike doesn’t understand how she feels. To be honest, she’s right. Mike didn’t know how it felt to move to a whole new side of the country without her father and to be subjected to brutal bullying. But disregarding his feelings towards bullying is also something she does.

Now the curtains are open and everything is shown. We then get a scene of El basically pleading Mike to tell her he loves her. But instead of admitting it, Mike gaslights her and tells her their problems are caused by other people.

Mike says he says he loves her but if this was really the most important couple in the show I’m sure the duffers would’ve included the supposed scenes where Mike and El say they love each other TO EACH OTHER. And when she brings out proof, he calls her ridiculous.

Even in the van scene, he says that he’s scared that El won’t need him anymore. He wants to feel like a hero to her, someone that can protect her when in reality, she is way past it. She wants him to love her but he wants her to need him. He wants her to be dependent on him.

Through the beginning of season 4, we see her define herself in the way Mike sees her. While giving him a false narrative of her life, she pretends she lives in them. Plastering a fake smile just so that Mike would think she’s enjoying herself in Lenora and lying about parties to make herself seem cool.

You can see how defeated she looks when she realises that Mike might not love her at all.

She, like so many more milevens, want Mike to be the perfect lover, the person who is with her through all her problems and a shoulder to cry on. But he isn’t that person and she knows it.

But after she leaves Mike, we can truly see what her goals are. There isn’t a scene throughout her journey where she thinks of Mike and you can see her gain more confidence in herself, once again proving that she doesn’t need him to feel complete.

She does better without him.

Her arc was never about romance. Her arc was about finding who she truly is. It was about her finding a place in this world where she doesn’t have to be the hero or villain in the story. It was about her growing alongside the people she loves and the family she built.

We see that she realises that she is her own superhero, that she can solve her own problems and that she doesn’t need a shoulder to cry on. She can take on a challenge headfirst without letting anyone define who she is.

She doesn’t need Mike telling her that he loves her to realise that she is loved or that she can live a normal and happy life just like how she doesn’t need to forgive brenner to know that she is a good person. She is her own person.

And before anybody comes at me, yes. A woman can be in a relationship and still be independent. But once it come to a point of lying about and to yourself and defining who you are through another person’s feelings, it is not healthy.

She has taken on challenges before Mike, during Mike and will continue to do so after Mike (and all this happened without Mike). She doesn’t need him.

Both Will and El need support and love through their journey. It only comes down to what type of love they need that’s important. El does not need romantic love to thrive while that’s the only love Will is lacking.

Anyways we also clearly see that in the end El is on her own journey and that Mike and Will are a team alongside all the other endgame couples.

So byler endgame and El independent arc era.

(My writing is a bit sloppy here and there so if there are any questions regarding it pls ask. Also again, sorry for long post)

[sillyuin]

hi <3! was wondering if i can get svt reaction to yn being completely oblivious to them flirting with her? subtle things like while she’s just ranting about her day they’d move closer to her and she’d absentmindedly put her hand on their chest to push them away still running her mouth, just completely unaware of what’s happening. and even the most obvious things like compliments or physical touch, yn is blind to it and it’s so frustrating to them

so yeah, hope you see this! ❤️

Hi! I'm sorry for being so late 😭 i've been very busy with job and housework, but it's finally here.

Svt reacts: Flirting vs clueless s/o. Who will win?

Yuin's note: barely proofread. I'ts 1 am and I'm tired.

Seungcheol. Staring at your face.

I mean, he likes to just stare at you as if he's watching the prettiest person in the world, but when Seungcheol wants to be especially flirty, he stares at you fondly and smiling with the whole intention to make your heart skip a beat, he even glances at your lips, as if he were trying to say something. Most of the time that's enough to make you really, really shy but when is not... Geez, he has to breathe in and ends up pouting a little (Probably one or two pecks will make him feel better).

Jeonghan. Teasing.

Is like his default love language, making harmless jokes to see you flustered all over him is just so fun to watch. But, is he really just trying to be a teaser, or is there something else behind? "I took the chair, but you can sit on my lap" he said one day, sitting at your desktop, with the most mischievous smile possible. But you didn't fall for his charm and as you kept your annoyed face, he stood up and sighed "Okay, all yours". And you better be ready because he's not forgetting so easy, and will keep teasing you just a little (yeah, a little) more than usual.

Joshua. Back hugging.

When Joshua wants your attention only and only for him, he goes where you are to hug you from the back, resting his chin on your shoulders and crossing his arms around your waist. Oh, he loves it so much is so tender, but he gets lowkey hurt when you don't react in any way because, how come you don't realize his intentions? Is really doing the dishes way more important than his warm hugs? Now, this is personal and Joshua won’t let you go, take it as a punishment for being so clueless (reward or punishment?).

Jun. Tickles.

For him, tickles is the perfect excuse to be closer to you. It's so obvious that hurts lol. Most of the time you melt in his touch, and you both end up laughing and sharing some kisses, but sometimes you're minding your business, too busy to realize that Jun wants to get your attention. Better get ready because you'll have a pouty little cat going around the apartment, and will NOT forget your offense unless you give him extra cuddles before bed.

Hoshi. Random "facts".

At the least appropriate time, he would come to find you. "Did you know that there is a minimum number of kisses that a person should receive per day to be healthy?" he says with a very serious expression on his face. And there you are, standing in the middle of the living room while you're brushing your teeth; your soulless expression says all. Hoshi turns around and pretends nothing happened, but in his mind, he's sitting in the corner staring at the walls.

Wonwoo. Making compliments out of nowhere.

He likes to pour you with sweet words, like how much he appreciates your homemade food, or that you did it great at work. From time to time, he thinks is fun to be a little sassy and his praises are very, very intentional. “New gloss?” he says, grinning at you “It looks good” and for some frigging reason you just start talking about how you got it? Babe, Wonu doesn’t care that much that you bought it because your favorite gloss wasn’t on stock, but now he feels a little shy to speak and just lets you tell the whole story.

Woozi. Playing with your hair.

When it comes to be openly flirty, Woozi tends to be a little coy. You rarely notice it since it's very common for him to be around you, caressing your hair and playing with the strands in complete silence. So when you get distracted he places a strand behind your ear, exposing your neck. But when he's so close to place a kiss, you jump like a scared kitten. "No! It tickles!" Woozi looks down, defeated, as you move away. "Sorry, be right back" and he locks himself in his room for the next hour.

Minghao. Holding your hand.

He thinks your hands are more than just pretty. Hao likes to take one of them when you're sitting by his side, scrolling on your phone or watching TV. He's so subtle that most of the times you don't feel how he traces your hand with his fingers and when you realize, it’s because your hands are intertwined and he’s holding his laughter. “How low you’ve been like this?” but Minghao just giggles. You end up doing the same and then resume your activity, letting him laughing low in embarrassment and biting his lips as a sign of frustration.

Mingyu. Resting on your lap.

He's very straightforward when it comes to flirting with you. Mingyu likes to wait patiently for you to sit on the couch or the bed and then he goes, at first making some (pretty obvious) questions "What are you doing?" "Is that a new book?" and as you're talking, his hands rest on your thigh, gently stroking your skin with his thumb, but you're so immerse in the topic and he goes completely unnoticed... And before you even notice, there's a flustered Mingyu resting his head on your lap, tracing small circles on your thigh as if he had been punished.

Dokyeom. Taking photos.

He already has a folder with your name and an unhealthy number of photos; Seokmin just never gets tired, you're so used to it that most of the time don't realize that he's actually trying to hit on you. "Just let me take a picture, you look so beautiful today!" And after giving him an awkward smile, you're getting back to your stuff.  Seokmin is a bit disappointed but with a bunch of new photos of his precious person, so is not that bad (at least is what he says to himself trying to not lose his mind).

Seungkwan. Scolding.

I know, it may sound like a bit harsh but when he's scolding you, Seungkwan tries to make it as tender as possible, it doesn't feel like scolding and actually, he uses this as a cheap excuse to be extra lovely. "Don't sleep too late, you're getting dark circles" he says in a soft voice while caressing your checks "you're too pretty for that, don't you think?". He waits for you to take the bait and when you laugh on him, saying that he's being a little dramatic, Seungkwan doesn't hide his disappointment. "Okay, keep watching your series" he says getting up from the couch "but don't you dare to complain later!"

Vernon. Placing his arm on your shoulders.

A classic that never dies and his favorite, Vernon likes to do it all the time: when watching movies, chatting, watching videos together; is a like a very subtle invitation to get closer to him, and somehow, most of the time you’re just minding your business and leave him waiting for you to notice. And yeah, he’s very patient, but everything has a limit. "Come here, babe" then he places his hand on your shoulder and brings you closer to his chest. And don't you dare to move, because there's no way he let you go now.

Dino. Calling your name.

Usually, he calls you by pet names or your name in diminutive, reserving the use of your name for special occasions. However, it doesn't always end the way he expected. “Did I do something wrong?” you ask him just after he called you by your name, and when Chan sees your big doe eyes, his smile fades. “Is just that… I feel like you’re mad at me”. At this point his intentions doesn’t matter anymore, he just hugs you and tries not cry in his disappointment.

[dsvoid]

remember when i said i was beginning to relate more and more to michael? well,

i think it’s easy to underestimate his character and not really understand who he is, but once you start acting like him, it gives you a new perspective in the whole of solitaire. michael is a very angry individual, i think we all know that. however, he is not portrayed like how angry characters usually are. his anger stays inside, like a lion waiting to attack. michael lives hiding a part of himself, somewhere so deep in his mind that whenever it is able to come out it becomes his worst nightmare ever. unlike most angry characters, the anger doesn’t affect the rest, it affects him.

i think this is so important to talk about, because yes, solitaire is tori’s book, but michael brings very important details to the story. i know most of the fandom likes to talk about him as a silly little guy, and that’s valid, because he also is that. my mind just won’t be at peace until we all realize a bit more how important he is.

anger will bring him down. that’s not something we can argue about, it’s the truth. and yes, it sounds silly, anger, really? that’s the thing that’s gonna bring him down? well, not exactly. anger is the first symptom of losing yourself. you start keeping all the anger to yourself, not really knowing what to do with it or why it’s becoming bigger and bigger. as this continues, you start hating, loathing every single moment of your life that doesn’t go as planned. before you even know it, you’re isolating yourself, afraid of any chance of the anger getting stronger.

if i were to show this with a scene of the book i would choose the one were michael finally explodes at tori. because at that moment, he has been trying so hard to be her friend, and attempt after attempt, she’s just been making things difficult. i say this from an objective perspective, because we know tori wasn’t in the right headspace, but that doesn’t mean michael’s wasn’t bad mentally as well. it’s what i said before, you start loathing everything that doesn’t go your way. and in this case, his friendship with tori wasn’t going his way. it’s a very hard topic to explain because i have been in both ends, mostly in michael’s, and it is extremely difficult to deal with. we know michael doesn’t have friends and probably didn’t have before either, which means he has been carrying this issue his whole life. it’s obvious he was going to explode. he keeps trying and trying and nothing goes his way. he can’t make friends to save his life, oh and look, he also failed the competition of what he is supposed to be great at, perfect!

i guess i just wanted to talk about this because as i said, feeling like this is not great. it sucks. it’s horrible to experience but so normalized as well. people like tori get talked about behind their backs. everyone has a bit of bitterness in their voice when they talk about them, spitting how being mentally ill doesn’t excuse you for being a bad person. people like michael get pitied. the people who keep a smile and don’t stop trying even when they’re dying inside. everyone feels bad for them, but no one cares enough to make a difference.

[rooksspite]

Marks of Love

Davrin x f!Rook (unnamed)

summary: after a night of too many drinks, Davrin finds Assan covered in kisses.

yes this is based off of that one meme of that girl who came home drunk and was really excited to see her cat

Davrin wakes one day with a headache and little recollection as to how he ended up in bed.

He remembers Lucanis inviting him and Rook to talk about old jobs again over a shared bottle. or 3. Honestly it could’ve been more he just couldn’t remember. After that it’s all a blur. He’s surprised he made it to bed in the first place.

With a groan he stands from his bed, wincing as he faces the open brightness of the fade. Moving sluggishly to throw on a shirt and pants before yawning and making his way to open the door of his room.

“Assan,” he calls out to the griffin sitting his usual spot. The wooden stairs creaking under his steps.

When Assan turns his head to look at him, it makes Davrin pause midstep, “what in the…”

There were specks of red dotted across Assan’s face, two on his beak, a couple on the sides of his face, even more across his forehead and the top of his head.

Davrin steps closer to get a closer look at the griffin’s face, “what happened to you buddy?” he asks softly, still struggling to fight off the last remnants of sleep. He had a number of ideas of what the marks could be, maybe the griffin snuck into the pantry to snack on berries again, or maybe he got into Emmrich’s inks.

Assan squawks as Davrin squats down to take his face in his hands, his eyes widening in realization. The spots were a very similar shade of berry red, in the shape of lips he’s grown to know all too well.

Davrin huffs out a laugh and hangs his head, “someone got some love last night.” Davrin muses, Assan only replies with a happy noise and a flap of his wings.

“Davrin,” he hears a familiar voice call. He looks up and sure enough there she is, just leaving the light house and making her way towards him. wearing the exact same shade on her lips that decorated Assan’s feathers.

“Rook,” Davrin greets, letting go of Assan’s face and standing “seems you got a bit excited to see Assan last night.”

To be fair, Rook always got excited seeing Assan, always showering him in hugs and pets whenever she walked by him. Though it seemed that alcohol released her from whatever she was holding back when it came to giving Assan affection.

“What do you- oh…” Rook pauses when she takes in the sight of Assan littered in kisses, her eyes move up to look at Davrin and he raises an eyebrow when he sees an obvious flustered look take over her features.

“Something wrong?” Davrin asks

Rook goes to speak but is cut off when the both of them hear the familiar clank of Neve’s prosthetic hitting the stone ground, “well good morning you three, have fun gossiping over your alcohol?”

Before either of them can answer, Neve takes in the scene before her and an amused smile crosses her face, “my my, just what were you two up to last night?”

Rook looks away flustered and Davrin’s confusion only grows, “what are you talking about?”

Neve smiles innocently, “nothing, I just think it’s adorable how similar you and Assan can look sometimes.”

Neve begins walking away towards the kitchen and Davrin can only furrow his eyebrows at her comment, “similar?” he turns to look down at assan again, “what are you even…” he trails off, his eyes landing on the splotches of lipstick sticking to Assan’s feathers as a look of realization crosses his face.

Suddenly he remembers drunken giggles as him and Rook leave the dining room, a cooed, “Assan!” followed by a shocked squawk and exaggerated kissing sounds.

He remembers leading Rook to her room, her turning towards him and reaching for his face, the sight of her lips moving towards him.

Slowly, Davrin reaches a hand up to his cheek, swiping at it before moving his hand back into view.

Sure enough, his fingertips were smudged with the very same berry red that covered both Assan and Rook’s lips.

“Looks like someone was also excited to see me last night.” Davrin hums with a hint of amusement.

Rook lets out a flustered laugh, her gaze still on the ground, “is it bad that I don’t even remember?”

Davrin chuckles and shakes his head, taking a step closer to room before placing a finger under her chin to make her meet his gaze. Rook lets out a surprised noise as Davrin leans down to press a kiss to her lips.

Just as quickly he pulls away, a new coat of her red lipstick smudged against his lips, “I think you ought to help us clean us you mess hmm?”

Assan squawks loudly from beside the two and Rook laughs, leaning her head against Davrin’s shoulder, “I suppose it’s only fair.”

[carabas]

Hey. Why does Lucanis's storyline end like that. Why would you start a storyline with a conversation like this:

Lucanis: I've always thought that to live truly is to live fully. But even before I was captured, my life was not really my own. So much had been determined for me. Rook: Being grandson to the First Talon must come with a lot of baggage. Lucanis: And when I proved I could carry it, the expectations only grew.

And after he has repeatedly stated in Tevinter Nights that, though he certainly doesn't want to quit the Crows, he does not want to be First Talon and would not be suited to it:

"All that effort training and grooming us, and the old woman still won't step aside." Beneath the bitterness in Illario's tone was something rotten. "Your time will come," Lucanis assured him. "Will it?" Illario's piercing gaze met Lucanis's in the mirror. "People talk. You've always been her favorite." He'd heard the rumors. For all their secrets and intrigue, the Antivan Crows were a chatty bunch. "My talents lie elsewhere," Lucanis said, gesturing toward the arsenal around him. "You're the one with the silver tongue."

Tevinter Nights again:

Illario's gaze grew hard. "How long are you going to keep doing this?" "Doing what?" "Caterina's bidding." The wine turned in Lucanis's mouth. "Illario. Stop." "If I was in charge, you wouldn't have to do this anymore," he cajoled. "You could quit." Lucanis stared at his cousin. "I don't want to quit." Illario sat back. The distance between them suddenly felt much wider than a table. "Even if it kills you," Illario whispered. "Death is my calling," Lucanis stated, matter-of-fact. "Just as yours is to become First Talon." He smiled, hoping to ease the tension, but Illario's posture remained taut. "And if Caterina disagrees? If she thinks you're the better man for the job--" "I don't want it, Illario," Lucanis insisted. "But you wouldn't refuse." "It's impossible to refuse Caterina," Lucanis admitted reluctantly. "Only prolong her, until she sees reason." He knew it wasn't the answer Illario wanted, but it was the truth. And in their line of work, honesty was hard to come by.

...and then Caterina declares Lucanis First Talon and, that's, we're leaving it like that. That's where we're leaving it? We started this story with a statement that his life had never been his own and had been determined by Caterina, and we are ending the story with his life being determined by Caterina, that is what we are doing?

The final pivotal scene of this game is about a spirit being released from an unwanted role he had been twisted into! Solas was Wisdom before Mythal turned him into her weapon as the Dread Wolf, a role he had remained trapped in long after the person who imposed that duty upon him had died! Letting Solas persist in his perceived duty twists him into a monster who starts talking like Elgar'nan, the very thing he'd said he feared becoming! Finally releasing Solas from Mythal's service is the super happy best ending of this game! The obvious parallels are paralleling!

And yet this story ends with Lucanis in the role Caterina put on him as First Talon??

Bioware why would you write it like that, I just want to talk

[jujus-bizarre-blog]

SOC and CK allegories for the queer characters (and other thoughts)

I was going to make a separate blog to yell about books but I decided to do it here.

I AM NOT DONE CROOKED KINGDOM AT THE TIME OF WRITING THIS SO EVERYTHING I SAY IS HAVING ONLY READ HALF THE BOOK SO FAR.

The Grishaverse doesn't seem to have any form of homophobia, but SOC and CK are chalk fulllllllll of what I can only see as plots that mimic queer experiences for the queer characters in the main group.

We have four queer characters (that I know of at the moment): Jesper, Wylan, Nina, Kuwei.

So let's start with the obvious, three of the four are Grisha. Obviously not all Grisha are queer, but all the Grisha in the party are. This gives them an automatic plotline of "hide who you are".

It could be said that since Nina is Ravkan she wasn't raised that way, and no, she wasn't. However since leaving Ravka she has been forced to hide for her safety, and not only that but she is frequently told she's "too much" which sounds a lot to me like what some people say about queer people when they think queer people should be less queer. Also Matthias is all about being "traditional" and "proper" and Nina's whole thing is that she is neither. Traditional and proper sound a lottttt like some people's arguments to be homophobic.

Jesper's I think is rather obvious. His father has a clear concern for his son being Grisha since it can put your life at risk. In Jesper's argument with his dad he goes off and asks his dad why did he never let him go to Ravka where he could be himself and learn about himself and his powers. Oh not to mention the fact that him and his dad talk around him being Grisha like it's some sort of virus that can be caught by simply speaking the word.

Kuwei's took a second to hit me but when it did I was like "ah yep, makes sense" and this is probably because it took me a hot second to realize Kuwei was queer. Yeah, apparently him being jealous that Jesper only looked at Wylan a certain way didn't tip me off... ANYWAY THOUGH. Kuwei is also told to hide who he is, but his dad goes the extra length of literally making a drug to help him hide himself. Is it giving anyone else Dorian's dad from Dragon Age vibes??? Blood magic for the gay son???

FINALLY, I will talk about my baby, the character I love more than anything else. Wylan. Here's the thing about Wylan, while I was reading SOC I wasn't sure if homophobia existed in this world yet and I was half convinced that his dad disowned him because gay. While his dad obviously didn't do that, I still think at the end of the day it portrays an experience that is very similar. Wylan is shamed, hidden, and ultimately his dad tries to have him killed, all because he can't read. His dad loathes him over such a stupid reason, especially since Wylan is absolutely brilliant at tons of stuff and the cutest lil guy. But I think it's that hatred of his son over something so trivial that really lends itself to being about something else entirely, Wylan being queer.

All four of our queer characters in the main group have different plots, but ultimately they all circle around the idea of hiding who you are and being ashamed of who you are. That sounds like a very common queer experience if you ask me.

I don't know if this was intentional or just a huge coincidence. As a writer myself I am all too aware of how easily accidental metaphors and symbols can happen. But I think about it a lot as I'm reading so I wanted to shout about it either way. I also have no clue if this is a common idea or not, I just know when I pointed it out to my friends who had read the books prior, one of who loves and reads them yearly, they both kinda went "oh damn, you right," but didn't see it before I mentioned it.

Anyway, if I missed things (or you wanna yell at me about how wrong I am, which is usually the more likely option) I'd love to know thoughts :)

AND BONUS THOUGHTS

This one is super obvious but I just wanna say it. Jesper is ADHD and no one will change my mind in the history of ever. This man cannot sit still, has been described as having limitless energy, and he seeks constant immediate gratification in the form of gambling and adrenalin rushes. COME ON MAN. I know I know, there's a lore reason, something something Grisha not using magic blah blah. No. No. He is ADHD and you cannot tell me otherwise. And I love him dearly.

Also, not a theory or anything but, y'all, I love Wylan so much. I just wanna give him a hug and a lollipop and tell him it's okay. He's so cute.

[kailoraurelius]

Am I talking about Swan and Mercy again? In another post? Because I am in love with their characters and the subtle things that define them individually and, therefore, together?? No, that's crazy talk.

So anyways, Swan is a bad ass. I said that in my last post, I'll say it again 📣📣 baddest bitch in the gang. Periodt. 💅

But MORE IMPORTANTLY, she's the most protective in the gang. My girl's first solo lines in the album are her worrying about them all going uptown unprepared. Like almost all the women, basically, are speaking against the idea, but they sound more annoyed or angry at the idea of not having weapons. But Swan is very clearly worried. She's thinking about how far it is and, if something goes down, how far they'll have to go to get home. She's worried about her ladies. Protective 👏👏👏

Then, she's the first one to start shouting "Stay down" to the Warriors in Derailed. Then, Woodlawn Cemetery, first thing she does is a head count. And in Orphan Town, it's her idea to approach the Orphans with a lighter touch, because they're outnumbered and she wants to protect her family so badly.

BUT she also chooses to protect Mercy in this song. Mercy, who she doesn't know, who has literally just tried to start a fight with her and her crew by demanding her vest. When Sully gets rough with her, Swan steps in and tells him to leave her alone. She was getting what she wanted before that!! Sully was backing off and allowing her through and even when Mercy tried to start shit, it's MERCY he got angry at. By all logic, if Swan hadn't spoken up, they could have still flirted their way through. But no. Swan sees a woman being treated wrong and she steps in.

And she's continues being protective of her crew for the rest of the album. But, let's skip to the end, then come back to talk about the three other major moments that I wanna talk about. So, The Finale. Swan sees this hearse, this dude calling out her crew, and without knowing a thing about him, she steps up to go fight his ass, telling the others "Stay behind me". She has, more than once in the album, put herself into danger to protect the others or done things out of her character to ensure their safety. And this is THE pivotal moment of that. It's why nobody listening can be surprised when she says, "Stay behind me". Because it's the defining characteristic of her.

It's simultaneously the saddest and sweetest thing about her. And that protectiveness is a super important aspect of her relationship with Mercy. Going back to the other moments I wanted to mention, it's most obvious to me in Park at Night and A Light or Somethin'.

Park at Night is a little more subtle, unless you're reading the lyrics. When Ajax gets cuffed and tells them to run, Swan immediately says, "Everyone go ahead". Sacrificing herself to lure the cops away so her family can escape. But, just as lightning quick, Mercy replies "no!" This girl who has known her a grand total of one (1) train ride SEES what she is doing. She's her once again putting herself into danger to protect someone. And she says no. She stays.

The other girls know the plan. Regroup in Union Square. But Mercy has just joined them and doesn't know this so it sounds to me like Swan's answering, "we'll regroup in Union Square" is her trying to tell Mercy to go, that she'd be okay.

But again, Mercy refuses. She says, "Swan, stick with me!" And then Swan seems to accept this woman isn't leaving her and she's switches to telling the others, "On the yellow line southbound platform, we'll meet you there". And she and Mercy, the one who wouldn't leave her alone, run. This moment, to me, is THE moment that made Swan/Mercy beautiful. Because nobody else argued the plan or even seemed to fully understand it.

In Cardigans, Cowgirl and Rembrandt are literally TALKING SMACK about Swan, saying she's "off canoodling with Mercy" and she "split off and left us". Like, y'all, she just put her life on the line to lead the cops away from you??? Rude.

Even Cochise, who stands up for Swan, doesn't say, "Hello, she just saved our lives at the risk of her own", she only defends the canoodling part by saying it's tactical.

Like, Mercy has been in your presence TWO SECONDS and she understands Swan better than y'all do, I'm crying. (Do not take this as me hating on any of the Warriors, I am in love with all of them and I know they're angry and scared in this moment and likely blinded by that and lashing out.)

And that brings us to the second of the three major things I wanna talk about. A Light or Somethin'. I know, everyone has talked about it. But there's something about it that I don't think I've seen anyone else mention. In that song, when Swan is rejecting Mercy, everyone is saying it's all because she has low self-esteem or doesn't trust her or is scared to feel her emotions. But I think the truth is that Swan is doing exactly what she's done this whole time. She's protecting someone else. She knows who she is, she knows she has lived a rough life and she's likely not going to be a very good partner because she's never learned how. So she's PROTECTING MERCY AGAIN by pushing her away. She says "be careful", "don't put your hope in me", "don't put your trust in me". Yes, this is definitely Swan thinking she isn't good enough, but it's also her protecting Mercy from HERSELF.

And Mercy, love of my life, is trying to tell her that she isn't scared. That Swan isn't something she needs protection from. SHE wants to protect Swan. She is in her corner, she stayed with her when the cops rolled up, she wants to fight by Swan's side. She says, "then WE'LL go" when Swan says she'll leave. Mercy has seen this amazing, protective woman, who cares so much for her family and for total strangers, and she wants to stay with her.

And that brings us to Same Train Home. When those rich assholes get on and are staring at the Warriors and Mercy is hurt by what she sees in their faces. And Swan, likely moved by Mercy still staying with them after her rejection and definitely moved by Fox's death and the loss of Ajax and Cleon, does it again. She puts aside her own fears and self-doubts to what?? Protect👏 Mercy 👏 She takes her hand and says, "Hold your head high. Let them stare in judgement" before she kisses her. Effectively telling Mercy "I heard you in the tunnel, I know you want to live bravely and boldly and I'm not going to let these pricks scare you into doing anything less. Fuck them and what they think."

And that's what's so beautiful about them, to me. They see each other so clearly.

Anyways, I'm gonna go cry now, thanks for listening to me ramble. 🤙

[quickdeaths]

Masaru Yaguchi sat up, wearily, wiping blood from his face and then drying his hands on his clothes. On shaky legs, he pushed himself up, only to nearly be knocked from his feet once more as he felt arms clamp around his waist. "Masaru-nii!" Bleary vision wasn't enough to keep him from recognizing the dark-haired girl with glasses and the familiar address. Lightly forcing her hands away, given how sore he was, Masaru took the moment to study her face.

"You're... Anzu?" She nodded empathically. "Anzu," she agreed, making a circle with her hands. "Not △△ anymore," she added, using her fingers to form an X. "Okay," Masaru mumbled with a gentle nod, before looking past her to Juzo Sakakura half-dragging away his little sibling. "And that's..." "Shinobu-chan." "Right. Shinobu." It was unfamiliar on his lips, but not unpleasant. He sighed, looking to Sonia running after the two of them, and then over to the crowd, where he could pick out Haruna standing watching.

"I really fucked up coming here today, didn't I," he murmured with a soft sigh, not really expecting from an Anzu any kind of response. "I've got to go try and take care of this before I accidentally do any more damage." Anzu looked at him like she was worried. Still such a sweet kid. "Are you sure? You look like you're about to fall over, Masaru-nii..." "It's fine," he said, forcing a smile and a wave of his hand. "The older sibling has to take some responsibility. Ah, and speaking of, tell your sister..."

Tell her what, exactly? Hi? Sorry? He didn't even know where to start, and besides, running away was how he dealt with most things. "Nevermind." He shook his head. Anzu frowned. eyes flicking back towards the crowd before looking at him again. "I mean, I think Haru-nee really wants to talk to you." With another sigh and another shake of his head, Masaru pushed his hair out of his face in some vain attempt at keeping blood from matting it. "I don't think it's a good idea, and I've got to go deal with that," he said, gesturing towards Shinobu and Sakakura. "But, it was good to see you, Anzu-chan. Thanks for still being Shinobu's friend."

Nearly stumbling as he took a few steps forward, he stopped first at Sonia's side. He wouldn't easily catch up to Sakakura anyway, so he'd just have to hope that his former junior would stop when he asked. "Nevermind-san." Masaru knew he didn't look very presentable, with blood smeared on his face and his jacket, but there wasn't much he could do about it. "Thanks for the tour, and the conversation. Sorry that it turned out like this." From how she'd cried out, and called after Sakakura at first, she must have been close to his sibling, too. Maybe really close, but, that wasn't really his place to pry, was it?

"Don't let this tarnish your opinion of Shinobu too much, though, alright?" He offered a weak smile. "Living in that house takes a heavy toll." Especially if Shinobu had ended up here. They hadn't trained in archery at all, so their father must have crushed Shinobu under pressure to try and make a diamond capable of attending Hope's Peak Academy. "I guess we just dealt with it in different ways." Not that he could blame them. Who knew what would have happened if he'd stayed? "Anyway, it was nice to meet you, and I appreciate you showing me around. I think I'll probably leave after I get this straightened out, as much as I can, so I guess your job here is done."

Even knowing he wouldn't catch up without Sakakura stopping, Masaru started after him, calling out with a hand raised. "Sakakura-kun! Hold on a moment!" Sakakura grunted as he slowed, then stopped, then slowly turned around. "Yaguchi-san." Masaru weakly laughed. "I guess you're too old to still be calling me 'senpai.' Sorry, but, can I have a minute with my sibling?" Sakakura didn't give him any obvious answer, but neither did he move away, so Masaru decided to take that in the affirmative.

Shinobu was barely standing themselves, blood practically gushing from a nasty forehead wound from where Sakakura's knuckles had split the skin. The right side of their face was clean, though, and Masaru could see the scar sliced across their cheek. No prizes for guessing where that came from, he thought to himself. "Shinobu," he started. "I can see that you're angry, and I'm sorry about whatever's happened to you since I left. You don't have to forgive me right now, but..." He reached out, putting his hand on their shoulder. "You should know that whatever is happening in that house, you don't deserve it."

They looked at him, then angled down their face and bit his wrist. Like a wolf tearing flesh from a kill, they jerked back, ripping open his arm, and then spitting the blood that coated their lips and teeth back in his face. "Die." "Dammit," Sakakura grumbled, pivoting and driving his fist into Shinobu's stomach, causing them to spit blood and saliva into the air before going fully limp over his arm. "You really didn't have to do that," Masaru mumbled with a wince. "It's not a big deal, Sakakura-kun."

Sakakura didn't seem to have any need to explain himself, and Masaru supposed that wasn't a point he could contest. "I'm not pressing any charges, and if it makes it easier, you can say whatever you want about how it got started to make it look like my problem, not Shinobu's." Masaru sighed as he looked at his wrist, dropping blood from where Shinobu had sunk their teeth in. He could do that much for them, couldn't he? "And get them looked at by a nurse? You always hit so hard, Sakakura-kun."

Shinobu's school bag was on the ground, dropped from where they'd first seen Masaru, and Sakakura lifted it up, Shinobu unconscious thrown over his shoulder in a loose fireman's carry. A notebook tumbled out of the front, skidding across the ground, though Sakakura didn't look like he cared about retrieving it. "If you don't want to get wrapped up in this and make it a big deal, Yaguchi-san, you should get out of here." Masaru nodded. "Fair enough. Consider me gone, then." And with one final wave towards Sonia, he began to leave.

It was then that the pain she'd felt began to fade. Sonia had half-mumbled a 'thank you' to those who had helped her up, but her focus was elsewhere. Not of the bruises she'd likely develop or the crowd's commotion. But of the fact that Shinobu had insisted the situation, the fight, was a family affair.

Sonia looked over the man she'd been escorting around campus: through the blood and swelling in his features, she noticed a similar jawline, similarly shaped eyes, a beauty mark in the exact same place on their faces. Shinobu's hair was a deep shade of red, clearly dyed, while his was left as a more naturally-occurring shade, and yet they were undeniably related. His reflexes were sharp like hers, but his gaze was softer, kinder, less intimidating. He lacked the pressure, Sonia realized, that Shinobu was under, and in return he smiled, entirely unconcerned with the obsession of talents that Hope's Peak had. Maybe he had been an Archer at one point, but from his distinct absence from Shinobu's home the time she was permitted to visit, she had a feeling he was an archer for the Yaguchi family no more.

It was then that Anzu had pushed through, Sonia so deep in her thoughts that she barely noticed her make her way through the crowd. But her efforts to dissuade Shinobu were equally in vain. She felt frozen in place: if even Anzu had no effect on stopping her, what chance did anyone else have? Shinobu was in a fit of rage that seemingly no one understood, including her brother, and yet she refused to stop. She wouldn't, likely until he stopped breathing. That second year student had gone to get help, hadn't he? She couldn't imagine what the school's Board of Governors would think of this-

But all thoughts of verbal punishments, suspensions and expulsions and the like, were silenced as a larger, burlier figure than Anzu's made his way forward. And unlike her, the crowd parted easily for him: Sakakura-sensei was intimidating even just standing still, but with anger and disappointment over his face? Even some of the alumni shivered, and they might have very well been his classmates. But niceties and barked orders were ignored in favor of Sakakura's fist being firmly planted in Shinobu's cheek. Harder than her brother may have retaliated in defense. Perhaps even harder than Shinobu herself had thrown at him.

But hard enough to bring Shinobu Yaguchi down, a shriek ripping out of Sonia's throat before she even realized she was screaming. "SHINOBU!" She cried out, causing several turned heads to look at her, assuming Sonia Nevermind was just another one of Cold Prince Shinobu-kun's many fangirls. Not that Sonia paid any heed to the stares: her hands were clapped over her mouth in shock. At Shinobu's defeat, at the fact she'd just screamed her given name, terribly rude and informal, loud enough for the entire courtyard to hear.

"Wait, hold on, what are you doing!?" She demanded. She probably should have seen to the elder Yaguchi, as she'd been responsible for showing him around campus. But for the meantime, she passed him, bleeding and bruised and likely bewildered about what had just happened, to reach out for Juzo Sakaura's free arm. His other hand was occupied in dragging Shinobu to her feet, presumably to haul her off somewhere the visiting alumni would not have to interact with her. Considering she'd beaten one of their own to a near pulp, it would only tarnish the school's image further to keep her around. "Where are you taking her, Sakakura-sensei?"

"It's none of your business, Princess!" He shouted back, forgoing the respect of utilizing her last name as teachers were supposed to. Frustration barely held back, he seemed to be in no mood to deal both with an angered Shinobu Yaguchi and a girl with way too much power and authority showing a large amount of concern for her. A call from Sonia Nevermind's parents was enough to make every school staffer's life hell, and if Masaru Yaguchi decided to press charges against his own sister, well...the Board of Governors would make things difficult for Kyosuke Munakata.

And Jin Kirigiri, but that was beside the point.

[moeblob]

Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

[anghraine]

I honestly feel a lot better about having posted anything at AO3, even things I won't finish, and there's something that warms my heart about posting fic for The Borgias in 2024.

I was actually deciding between two different WIPs to represent that "phase" between my undergrad years and grad school. The other one was the prologue to a Legend of Korra/Star Wars fusion in which Noatak/Amon is Korra's father and this is revealed in S1 (I think it was going to be Tarrlok who figures it out first, lol) and it actually affects the plot and it isn't just the LOK canon plot with minor adjustments—the fusion with SW was meant to be more than vague I-am-your-father inspiration. In any case, I only ever wrote the prologue about the Noatak/Senna quasi-romance that led to Korra's existence and never even got to the sheer comedy of Korra as Tarrlok's niece :(

But the Juan and Lucrezia as dysfunctional twins one-shot is closer to being a whole fic (in a side-story way) and I did like being able to add one more to my Borgias oeuvre—and getting at least some part of that AU on AO3 after all the time I spent on it!

[opens-up-4-nobody]

God. One of my little sisters is such a bitch. She's done me some genuine damage in exacerbating my already social bad anxiety. But when I have dreams where she's been hurt or killed, it's so horrible bc she's still my lil sister :-(

[eclarinet]

same soup... different day

[ratatatastic]

you ever think about forsy being faced with an always have a small rock in your shoe or always have wet socks would you rather question and going "its not a fun situation... i would say yeah wet socks probably" like what possessed him to choose wet socks

[jamesheathridge]

i love my grandmother but whenever i talk to her i get insanely sad

[disorderly]

Everything is triggering again